By Mark Thomas

Fiery Angelic Herald Borrows Toothbrush

It was about three a.m. when I wandered into my bathroom and discovered the archangel Gabriel perched like a gargoyle on the toilet, taking a dump. He wasn’t wearing a name tag or anything, but I recognized his weary face from dozens of medieval paintings. I stood in the doorway, uncertain if I should proceed…

1978

I once made the mistake of asking a guy about nineteen-seventy-eight. Why do you want to know about that? It’s ancient history. People used to rent VHS movie tapes to watch on Friday nights, for Christ’s sake, and if you didn’t drag your sorry ass out of bed to return the things by opening time…